


Rainy Weather

by thepastelforestprince



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Ben is weird, Denial of Feelings, Dissociation, Flirting, Hux is done, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Slow Build, benarmie, don't worry it'll get happy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-08-20 06:51:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8239963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepastelforestprince/pseuds/thepastelforestprince
Summary: While sent on a recon information mission, Hux has the misfortune of meeting one of the most strangest people he'd ever met before. Even worse was the fact that he was a Jedi.





	1. Chapter 1

Rain softly pattered on the clay shingled rooftop, the sweet smell of rain present. Such was normal on Arkanis. Boots tromped through the wet grass, and Lieutenant Armitage Hux zipped up his coat, feeling the cool burn of the icy wind on his reddened cheeks. Why of all places was he being sent to a library? Pushing the thought out of his mind, he rapped on the wooden door, shifting his weight to one leg, then to the other in impatience.

A man opened the door with a rusty creak, metal framed glasses sliding down his nose before he put them back up with a push of his bony finger. He eyed Hux suspiciously, and croaked "Who are you?". A snide smile twitched onto Hux's lips, but it quickly disappeared, replaced by a faux sugary sweet one. The wind gusted once again, making his coattail float briefly, before it came back down to the ground once again.

"My name is Tidge, kind sir. I'm on a quest for knowledge," Hux lied sweetly, putting on his most innocuous genuine smile he could muster for the man, who seemed to buy it, moved aside and let Hux in. Hux scurried in, spouting obnoxiously kind "thank you's" as he looked around. He stood in a vast room, covered from wall-to-wall in multiple holo-books, and out of the corner of his eye noticed a figure quickly rush by.

He turned his head quickly, but whoever it was who had ran upstairs was quicker, the fading sound of boots hitting the wooden stairs imprinting in Hux's pristine memory. "Excuse me, sir, but what's upstairs?" Hux asked, eyeing the staircase.

"More books, You're free to go up there, young man." The man said, reclining in a chair behind his desk, squinting at something in front of him.

Hux calmly proceeded upstairs, trying to make as little noise as he possibly could while his hand subtly moved towards his pocket, where his blaster was. At the top of the stairs, he quickly swung around, to see…..a kid?

Well, to be fair he wasn't much younger than Hux, a few years at most. He sat in the windowsill, peering outside through the window which was covered in raindrops, before turning to face Hux.

He was like nobody Hux had ever seen before, a halo of midnight black tresses, a prominent nose that if Hux squinted he was sure he'd see freckles, and one intense hazel eye peering at him, the other covered by his hair, which had a braid in it. He was rather tall, and muscular, wearing traditional Jedi garb.

"I didn't know that the Jedi still existed," Hux said, eyeing the young man in front of him with interest.

"I didn't know Imperial Officers still existed, let alone ones that would proudly wear the emblem where anybody could see it. You're lucky the book keeper's practically blind," The man replied in a surprising for his looks deep voice.

"Touchė," Hux murmured, still slowly advancing. The stranger made no notion to attack, or move.

"I assume you believe in that 'Force' nonsense as well, eh?" Hux said, fully aware of the fact that if he let this kid escape he would be found out.

"It's not nonsense, it's the truth," The kid huffed, most likely realizing the predicament he was in.

"Look, I know what you're thinking, and no, I'm not going to tell, because what in the kriff is a lone Imperial Officer going to do?" The boy said, and Hux suddenly froze, unable to move any part of his body, even though he was frantically trying.

"What is the meaning of this?" He gasped, as the kid got up to his full (tall) height, sized him up.

"What a shame too, you're cute. Too bad you're an Imperial Officer," The kid snorted, and then walked downstairs with his holo-books, Hux barking an "Wait!" after him, before he was released from whatever paralysis the kid had placed on him, he rushed downstairs and the boy was gone.

"Sir, who was that young man?" Hux panted, staring in fury at the closed door. He could hear the rain falling more heavily now.

The man jolted awake, apparently he had been drifting asleep, and looked at his records, squinting at the screen. He scratched his silver hair and croaked "All's I have here is the initials B. S-O." And Hux groaned, fighting the urge to bang his head into the wall.

He rushed out into the rain without another word, completely forgetting what he had been sent to do and getting soaked to the bone in the icy downpour, trying to look through the thick fog for the kid to no avail.

Figures the little brat would flirt with him and pull some stupid magic trick. Jedi.

~

The next day Hux tried again, the rain once again mellowed out to a drizzle, as it always was. It never stopped raining, and one would wonder how so many people lived on this planet. Lighting a cigarra and inhaling, blowing the smoke out in a pleased exhale, Hux leant on a tree, trying to figure out how to proceed from here.

"You shouldn't smoke, you know. Nasty habit," A familiar voice teased from up in the tree, and Hux jumped, before calming down, glaring at the kid's grinning face.

"I didn't appreciate your little magic trick," Hux sneered, and the boy's obnoxious grin turned to a small frown.

"That's too bad. Well, at least you know the force isn't 'Jedi nonsense'." the kid said, mimicking his voice. He really knew how to grate on somebody's nerves, didn't he?

Hux rolled his eyes, choosing not to say anything further and walking in the opposite direction, when suddenly he felt a vice grip on his arm dragging him back.

"What in the psfaak is your problem?!" He angrily said, and noticed the kid's face getting red. The kid pointed in front of them and Hux noticed he would've been walking, or rather falling, into a large gorge.

"Oh. Well, thank you." Hux awkwardly said, tugging his arm free of the kid's still-strong grip. "I doubt you'll give it to me, but what is your name?" He said, pale eyes flickering all over the kid's face, memorizing it.

"Call me Ben," Ben said, studying Hux as somebody studies something they don't fully understand.

"What are you even doing here? 'Jedi business'? And don't lie to me, I recognize your awful outfit," Hux groused, flopping down next to the tree they had been sitting near.

"Partially. I already know why you're here," Ben said rather conversationally, and Hux scoffed.

"You live here. Your father is Commandant Brendol Hux, and he runs the Arkanis Academy. You've been sent on a recon mission looking for information. For what you don't know," Ben said smugly, while Hux felt his mouth hanging open. Ben smelled the air and sighed with satisfaction.

"The best thing about being here is that rain smell. It's so addictive," He murmured, rolling around in the grass rather like an animal, making Hux snort and laugh, which made Ben grin in amusement.

Hux then remembered that he was forgetting what he had to do, and curtly got up and walked away without further explanation. This Jedi kid was weird, to say the least. Who in the right mind rolled around in wet grass?

Did he fancy himself some sort of cat? Those are the thoughts that flickered around in Hux's mind, and in the distance he heard Ben laugh, trying to convince himself that he wasn't reading his mind, and that it was impossible, because of course it was. It was all nonsense.

~

"What do you mean they're gone?" Hux said in exasperation, slightly glaring at the elderly book-keeper, who just shrugged. How in the nine hells do records just disappear? Hux couldn't go back empty-handed, he knew the repercussions of that, he'd _seen_ the repercussions of that.

Slamming the door behind him, he noticed the thick fog rolling back in again. Now he was stuck until it dissipated. He sat outside the door on the stone steps, shivering slightly before he felt somebody put something on his shoulders. On inspection it was a rather large, warm and fluffy coat, given to him by Ben.

"Why do you keep on following me?" Hux asked, letting his frustration get the best of him. Ben chose not to answer, saying instead "You'll catch cold. Follow me," and offering his hand to Hux.

He barely even knew Ben, and he'd probably end up regretting this in the end of it all, but he accepted his hand, and Ben lead them through the fog. Hux was amazed, but he wouldn't ever let Ben know that, but to his chagrin he already seemed to know.

Leading Hux into a small cottage a little while away from the library, Ben flopped down on a rug in front of a large and inviting fireplace, pleasant crackling noises filling the house. Hux felt slightly drowsy, the warmth feeling like it was everywhere, creating a pleasant feeling in his bones.

"Have you ever kissed anybody?" Ben asked out of the blue, and Hux started at the suddenness of hearing his voice.

"None of your business," He sniffed, wrapping a blanket around himself and watching the flames dance, almost hypnotized.

Ben said nothing further, also studying the orange flames licking at the stone chimney. He then suddenly got up, calmly taking Hux's jacket, before throwing it in the fire.

"What the kriff was that for? Those cost credits, you know!" Hux hissed, watching with a certain sadness as the fire enveloped his coat.

"If my Uncle saw that we'd have a big problem," Ben said defensively, and then scowled. "It was a shitty coat anyways," and Hux groaned in absolute irritation at this frustrating being he had the misfortune of having to stay with until the fog disappeared.

"You're impossible," He hissed, curling up on the couch and attempting to fall asleep, before his head was lifted, and then put back onto a plush pillow.

"Thank you," He grumbled, nuzzling his face into it, closing his eyes and drowsing.

 


	2. Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Hux has a panic attack and experiences dissociation for the majority of this chapter, he also kind of claws up his hands but it's not that graphic, and I don't really describe him doing it, but I do briefly describe him seeing blood. He also calls himself weak and etc, so yeah.
> 
> If that bothers\upsets you then I would suggest not reading this chapter, or choosing to come back to it later when you're up to it. I can put a tl;dr in the end notes.
> 
> (Also, I'm shit at tagging tw's so please let me know if there's anything else I need to tag.)

Hux woke with a start, the room feeling as if it were spinning faster and faster. _Unfamiliar, unfamiliar, unfamiliar where am I, where am I-_ Then he remembered. Ben. The fog, the cottage, his coat now burned to ashes. He looked around the room for Ben, but he wasn't there. He was alone in an unfamiliar place. He didn't even notice he was hyperventilating, until Ben, appearing out of nowhere as he had a talent of doing put his hand on his shoulder.

"Hux, are you all right?" Ben asked, looking over him worriedly, and Hux felt his breathing slow, but noticed his hands were still shaking.

"Go-I need to go," He panted, swatting Ben's hand off of him and rushing out the door. He heard Ben shout after him, but it wasn't registering. Nothing was. He accidentally banged into a tree, and fell, his dizziness only amplifying.

He noticed blearily that Ben had come up alongside him and was holding his hand, not saying anything, just holding him. He felt himself tearing up, despite the fact he didn't want to. He didn't want to crack. He didn't want to show weakness. But that's what he was: weak. His father himself had said it, after all. Everyone knew it after all.

"Stop thinking like that," Ben said, looking as if he were about to cry himself. Hux noticed something else in his eyes, though. A feeling of similarity. Hux said nothing, familiar numbness creeping into his system.

"I don't think you quite realize how fucked I am, Ben. I can't go back empty-handed. This is the third goddamn time-," He raved, but stopped himself, realizing how useless it would be.

"Although, I suppose it would be expected of me, the bastard child, weak and as thin as a slip of paper and just as fucking useless," he hissed, curling in on himself. He didn't take his hand away, though. Ben had started rubbing it with his thumb soothingly, for the first time since they had met unsure of what to say.

"Have I finally made you speechless?" Hux laughed weakly, wincing as a raindrop hit his cheek. He tensed as he felt something warm and smooth brush across his cheek, which was rapidly heating up. A hand. Ben's hand. He shuddered softly, closing his eyes and enjoying the warmth that was being rubbed back and forth soothingly over his cheek.

"'S okay. I have no idea why you think you're weak, I mean, I may not know a lot about the whole 'ranks in armies' thing, but to get to Lieutenant at your age is astounding. I'm sure you're on your way up, too," Ben murmured, his long eyelashes fluttering as he blinked.

Hux scolded himself for staring at this boy, this person who was supposed to be his enemy. He didn't feel hostility towards him, though. He irritated him, but he didn't hate him.

And instead of hurting him he had simply frozen him until he made his escape. He welcomed his home to him, even though he could be in trouble for doing so. Why was Ben so nice to him? Hux didn't understand. He didn't deserve kindness and generosity.

He quickly surged away from Ben's inviting warmth cooly, getting up and brushing himself off, going off into his shell once again. Ben looked at him with dejection in his hazel eyes, but said nothing further and simply watched him sadly as he left.

~

Hux winced as a sudden surge of pain traveled up from his hand, specifically, his palm. Goddamn it, he'd scratched his palms again. Exhaling shakily, he dug around in his pockets, looking for anything to stop the bleeding.

He found nothing. Fighting the urge to start screaming profanities in his fury, he shakily lit a cigarra, inhaling deeply. He exhaled the smoke from his nose, holding up one shaking hand and observing it with his pale eyes.

 _"Please let me help you,"_ Ben said miserably, except that Ben wasn't there. Hux wasn't sure if this was his mind fucking with him, so he decided to simply ignore it.

 _"This isn't all in your mind, well, it is on a technicality, but my voice is real. I'm real, please,"_ Ben murmured again, and Hux once again ignored him, ignored the genuine misery he heard in his voice.

"You're an awfully fucking convincing liar, kid," Hux hissed, continuing to walk along the grassy dirt path that led to the speeder he had left tied to a tree when he had first come.

 _"I wouldn't lie to you. I haven't lied to you, and the things I say and do aren't lies, listen to me for the god's sakes,"_ Ben said, misery being replaced with a certain firm determination.

"Then come and find me. I'm not going back," Hux grumbled, sleek black pants brushing against the dewey grass as he tromped through it, trying to put some order back to his hair that had been mussed by his tossing and turning.

He got no response, but continued onward until he had found his tree, and speeder, preparing to get on, before he saw the familiar outline of Ben rapidly approaching. Hux had to admit he was rather jealous of how fast he moved, and how readily he was able to locate.

"Give me your hands," Ben panted, hands on his knees and folded over, sweat running down his forehead. Hux's eyes bore in to him with uncertainty, but he flipped his hands over to his palms, presented them to Ben.

"Dear gods…Hux, why do you do this to yourself?" Ben asked, digging around in a tattered brown satchel Hux had never seen him don before, before he finally pulled out the item of interest: clean white bandages.

"I don't know," Hux said honestly, watching Ben's hands carefully wrap the bandages around his palms, surprised by how delicate somebody like Ben could be. It was strangely enthralling. The smell of rain was growing stronger, which meant Hux would most likely have to leave sooner than later, yet he did not rush Ben, nor did he want to rush Ben.

As strange as it sounded, he wanted this encounter to go on as long as it could. Because I don't know if I'll ever see him again. Ben looked up at him, an indistinguishable emotion flashing quickly as a bolt of lightning across his face, before disappearing into stony sadness.

Hux jolted as he felt pressure on his right palm, and noticed Ben's face pressed into it….was he kissing it? Yes, he was. Hux was angry at the fact that he felt some of the pain alleviate after he did.

Ben got up from his kneeling position, inclining his head slightly downward to look at Hux with his maddeningly intense gaze, full lips set into a pout. Hux's now bandaged hand was held in his.

"I can't see into the future, so I can't say whether we'll see each other or not again, but….for what it's worth, I don't regret meeting you. Or hiding you in my Uncle's cottage, or telling you to stop smoking, which you really should," Ben laughed, and Hux found himself laughing along with him, because his laugh was so soft and kind, rather like the man himself, that it was practically impossible not to.

Hux blinked slowly, pale eyes meeting with dark once more. For people who were so different from one another, they had much more than met the eye in common, it would seem. The sun and the moon.

"I hope we'll meet again, and I wish you the best on whatever it is you're doing," Hux found himself saying, shocked at the words, even though he was speaking them, and they were all true. Usually when he said something like that, he didn't mean it, but Ben…Ben was different, Ben was Ben.

That was the only way Hux found himself able to describe him. An experience. One of the most memorable of Hux's life. A peach and crimson sunset filtered through the clouds, staining them with its vibrant hue. An unusual for Arkanis calm slowly drifted throughout, simultaneously cool and warm, tiring and invigorating. They said nothing to one another, just stared.

Hux was first to break eye contact, quickly straddling his speeder and grabbing his helmet. Ben walked as close as he could get, murmuring a soft goodbye. He had barely known him for three days, and yet he knew more about him than the majority of people he interacted with did, he was interested, he cared, which couldn't even be said for his own flesh and blood.

 _Fuck it,_ Hux thought, surging his bandaged hand forward and fisting it in Ben's ridiculous clothes, and bringing their lips together in what was the most energy filled kiss Hux had ever experienced.

He felt and heard Ben's started noise against his lips, relishing in their plush softness, before quickly breaking, muttering a quick "goodbye", gracelessly shoving his black helmet on his head and turning the speeder on, before racing off, the rumbling roar of the engine silencing any thoughts or words, a strange, unfamiliar giddiness creeping into his system. He knew it would be temporary, though. But it was worth it. The landscape rushed past him in a multicolored blur, and he didn't dare look back.

~

Ben stood where he and Hux had been moments prior, pupils wide and brushing a hand against his lips in shock, tracing the outline and searing the memory of Hux's lips on his own into his thoughts forever, staring after the outline of the boy who had just kissed him, even though they might never meet again. A suiting punishment for flirting with him initially.

He grinned as he dug his hand in his pocket, producing Hux's pack of cigarras he had stolen when he was bandaging his hands. And then frowned at the realization he was most likely just going to buy more.

While Ben was distracted, a familiar presence drew closer and closer, until his train of thought was torn away from the box of toxins, and to the slowly approaching figure.

"Uncle Luke!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it was bittersweet, whatever it was. This isn't the last chapter, btw. And this is kind of vent-y. (Hux and I have a lot of the same problems. Aggressively shoving my own issues on fictional characters, whatever do you mean? -nervous laughter-)
> 
> Tl:dr: Hux has a panic attack, Ben attempts to comfort him, Hux appreciates it, then denies it, has to leave, steals a kiss from Ben before he does.
> 
>  
> 
> I've been noticing recently people in the fandom talking about what Kylux means to them, so I suppose I'll do it too, because if I'm being totally honest, I've never experienced such hyperfixation on anything like this before, but it's been almost a year since TFA and I'm still reeling. 
> 
> Kylux for me is hard to describe. I've never related to a character as much as Kylo Ren, which probably sounds awful, ("Why couldn't you fixate on one of the good characters?!" is a common argument I hear.) but I do. I relate to him in a lot of ways, emotionally mostly. I'm not going to go too deep into it, but what I will say is we both have a lot of the same issues. As for Hux, I relate to him as well, or at least what we've seen thus far. That's why I hc him as aggressively pushing away his emotions, or denying them, because that's what I do. I put myself into my characters, whatever verse or au or fic I'm writing them in. The happy and the sad. And it's....cathartic, almost. (idk if that would be the correct phrasing lmao).
> 
> But back to the point. They're both such interesting characters to me, with so many similarities and so many differences, and that have such amazingly amazing (i'm still sick and bad at wording i'm sorry) writers, not only of fics but of metas, and character analysis's that made me see them (and relate to them) in ways I never have before. But, I'm veering a bit off point again ahaha ;w;.
> 
> My point is, to see two people like that (like me, and so many other people) together, and able to be happy, and so in love with one another is such an amazingly happy thought that I literally fight tears sometimes when I think about it. Because it gives me hope for my future, as somebody who is also gay (and nd). Because it makes me realize that hey, I'm not the only person out there, and maybe some time in my future I'll meet somebody like me, whether they be friends or whatever. Sorry for rambling, but I needed to get this off of my chest.
> 
> Also, about the whole panic attack thing\dissociation, I portrayed the way I experience it, so that might not exactly be how everyone else experiences them. It sucks, but yeah. :\
> 
> I promise you guys it will get happier though! Also, not really fun fact, but Hux does canonically scratch himself up in the TFA Novel, and he also paces, which is something I do too! (the pacing)


	3. Stuck with bad luck and starlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -slowly crawls out of the void- hi holy crap i've been procrastinating and dealing with writer's block how are you have some angst and mutual unknown pining

This was not the right season for downpour, but Arkanis had an unfortunate habit of switching back and forth between drizzle and extreme storm, and this was one of those unfortunate occasions.

He hadn't even gotten close to the academy, and his clothes were soaked through and he was shivering fiercely, his body covered in goosebumps. There wasn't any inn to stay at, no homes or buildings, just vast green fields and a sweeping icy wind, carrying rain with it.

He could barely even see through the rain, it was so thick. He tried anyway, squinting until his eyes hurt, to no avail. He didn't even have a way to communicate to the Academy.

In the distance, he saw a gaping jagged mouth of a cave, and sighed, shaking his head and wondering if he was really going to do this, decided he was and reluctantly grabbed his speeder and headed off in the direction of the cave, grabbing some stray tree limbs that had been blown off in previous storms or struck off by lightning.

Hux pondered about this recent back-to-forth good luck-bad luck situation he'd been having as he realized he'd have to leave his speeder outside, where anybody could easily take it, sighed.

He peered up at the ledge of the cave, realizing that he'd most likely have to climb to get in, shoved as much of the wood in his satchel as he possibly could, wincing when he heard a a rip of the fabric on his shirt, but decided not to look so he could maintain at least some of his sanity and temper.

And as he climbed the dangerous rock, he could hear another rip, this time from his pants, which had caught on a sharp rock, and now invigorated by spite and fury he climbed it in half the time it would've taken, considering screaming at the sky and flipping it off, but told himself it would do no good, which was another fact.

As he progressed into the cave, he heard the steady _drip drip drip_ of a leak in the rocky ceiling, but it was too dark to concern where, and then he remembered he had a flashlight he could use, so he dug around in his satchel, unceremoniously dumping the wood onto the stony floor with a noisy clatter. He found the flashlight, turned it on and shone it around, saw no dangerous beasts, and saw the leak was some way back, so he would be fine.

Hux turned his concentration on starting a fire, gathering as many stray rocks as he could, before arranging them around the pile of kindling and wood, and digging around in his pocket for his lighter. Finding it, he lit it, and the fire started with some assisted blowing. He stood in front of it, stretching his arms out to warm them, before realizing he'd most likely have to dry his clothes as well. And he had no blankets.

Well, kriff. He was at a loss, fiddling with his metallic lighter, occasionally flicking it on and off, before he laid back, wincing at the sharp jab of rocks in multiple areas on his back and head, the fire crackling, which was a comforting sound that reminded Hux of his family's grand estate.

"Your week keeps on getting worse and worse, huh?" A familiarly deep voice chimed laughingly, making Hux jolt up to see Ben, yet again. He had blankets slung on his arm.

Hux wondered how neither the blankets nor Ben had been soaked through by the icy downpour, but decided not to question anything having to do with Ben any further, because all it was good for was a headache and more questions than you had started out with. It was infuriating to Hux, the fact he couldn't read Ben like he could read most everyone else, but Ben could read him like a book.

Ben approached, sitting cross-legged as he always did across from Hux, unrolling the fluffy gigantic blanket, but looking at Hux's soaked clothes hesitantly. Hux scowled at him, angrily puffing a strand of soaked ginger hair out of his face, angrier that he found the reflection of the fire's orange light in Ben's eyes entrancing and beautiful.

"You're lucky I brought extra clothes," Ben laughed, unlatching his backpack and rustling through it to produce clothes identical to his own. Hux scowled at him even more.

"Those won't fit on me," He said matter-of-factly, but admitted to himself that any clothes would be better than what he currently had on. Mumbling Arkanian swears under his breath, he took the clothes, retreating into the darkest area of the cave where the fire's light didn't reach, undressing and redressing and coming back, occasionally tripping over the long robes, making Ben snicker.

Sitting down, he nestled into the warm fluffy white blanket, which must've been recently washed, as it smelled of a clean floral soap. It made him drowsy, so drowsy he didn't even notice Ben nestling into it as well, not that he would've cared if he had realized.

~

Ben awoke before Hux the next morning, a few streaks of warm sunlight coming into the cave, an extreme rarity on Arkanis, Ben admiring them as he stretched, Hux's small snores audible faintly, his chest rising and falling slowly with every breath he took. Ben thought he looked adorable in his clothes.

Outside, the sky was painted a beautifully vivid peach as the sun slowly made its ascent into the sky, the wind calmed to a gentle breeze. Ben regretted not taking his art supplies with him, even though it wouldn't have been practical it would've made for a stunning picture.

Ben always seemed to wonder when he first woke in the morning, about multiple things, today's pondering was about Hux, and the kiss he had been given. There was no logical reasoning for it, and yet he had done it anyway. Hux was a very logical thinker. He usually didn't take risks or do things deemed "out of the ordinary" for him, but yet he had. Ben hadn't been able to read him, because he was too in shock of Hux's actions.

Hux muttered something in his sleep and rolled over, bunching himself further into the bedding. Ben smiled fondly at him, before realizing he was still tired himself and nestling into the covers, lulling back into peaceful slumber

~

Ben woke again, a few hours later when the sun had settled in and then promptly been hidden by steely clouds, no rain making an appearance yet. Hux had awoken too, and was mumbling sleepily in an unfamiliar to Ben accent. It lacked its usual poshness, instead replaced by something more careless and soft, loosing the clipped edge it had once had. It was lovely. Ben hadn't even realized he was staring with wide eyes until Hux looked at him with a flustered, albeit confused look.

Hux's copper hair was tousled and his eyes seemed to be a more vibrant green than they had been before…maybe Ben just hadn't stared at him enough. His eyelashes were beautiful, the same color as his hair, so light they were practically translucent. Stars, he had freckles.

"What're you looking at?" Hux groggily asked, in that same unfamiliar but entrancing accent, before he seemingly realized his voice was different with widened eyes.

Ben sputtered, unable to form coherent sentences or thoughts, his mouth agape as he stared. He thanked the stars Hux didn't have the same abilities he possessed, otherwise he would've most likely died from embarrassment at the thoughts that flickered through his mind in rapid succession.

_"He's so beautiful, he's so cute, look at him, look at him,"_ his thoughts whispered, before he silenced them, and quickly shut his mouth. Hux still stared at him somewhat dazedly and Ben found himself squirming slightly, something that had never happened before. Then again, Hux had made a lot of things happen that hadn't previously.

Hux still squinted at him, his eyes adjusting to the light pouring in through the frightening jagged maw of the cave. Ben was unsure of what to do. The rain had subsided and Hux could obviously return back to the academy, and then things would be back to normal. He didn't want normal again.

Ben realized he didn't want Hux to go, even though it was irrational, considering they barely knew anything about each other. Well, that wasn't exactly true for Ben, considering he knew quite a bit about Hux from what he had seen in his mind, but still…To Hux he was most likely still a complete mystery.

And then came the sobering thought that they were still very much supposed to be enemies, on opposite sides of the spectrum, yet similar in ways they had yet to discover. That was the thing about Hux. Ben felt like he knew him, somehow. Like they had met so many times before. Obviously Hux didn't feel the same way, which was endlessly frustrating to Ben.

He feared what his Uncle would do if he found out about Hux. Ironically, Hux feared what his father would do, or alternatively, whoever his father might've sent to find him. He'd been gone for 3 days past when he was supposed to return now, not that his father would be worried, he would just bring him back because it was needed, that he was needed to do his job, fill his quota and be a good little soldier. Nothing more.

They stared at each other, four pairs of eyes studying each other, seemingly reaching an unspoken but mutually acknowledged deeper understanding of one another. They were both glad about it, the realization that neither of them were alone, even if their experiences were different. Then they both looked away, saddened by the remembrance that both of them would eventually have to leave.

"How long are you staying here?" Hux murmured, breaking the awkward and stifling silence that had gone as fast as it had arrived, rifling through his bag while looking for his clothes that had been soaked through the night prior, before Ben lightly tapped him on the shoulder, pointing where the sun shone brightest in the front of the cave.

Oh. Ben had put them out to dry when he had fallen asleep. Hux found that strangely endearing. Getting up, he stretched while yawning, walking stiffly to the front of the cave to retrieve his clothes. They were sun warm and dry. He snuck another glance at Ben, who refused to look at him, a sad look replaced his former neutral one.

Hux's lips pressed into a firm line, unsure of what to say. He normally didn't console any of his peers when they were upset, not because of dislike, simply because he wasn't good at it. It was something that was rather lost on him. His eyes flickered about, as if trying to see how he could possibly help, or understand.

"Two more months. Or less, if we get the information we need sooner," Ben murmured, and Hux released a soft "oh," in repines, unsure of what else to say. This had to be one of the most strangest experiences he had ever had in his young life, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. He would never forget it, of that he was sure.

"I should get going," Hux breathed, barely a whisper. He didn't want to go. Something about Ben made him want to stay. He knew he couldn't. He felt emotional over someone he had met three days ago, for kriff's sakes!

No. This would not stand. He could not be vulnerable. Weak. His icy demeanor returned, Ben sensing it immediately. It was weaker than before, which gave him a foolish sort of hope. Then the thought of never seeing one another again dashed it. Two months wasn't that long. Hux was most likely at the academy for the majority of his time.

Not to mention the fact that Hux had his own agenda, his own life. So did Ben.

"I guess this would be goodbye, then," Ben said, fiercely fighting back any emotions that might make him act irrationally, or end up getting him hurt.

"I suppose so," Hux said, slinging his satchel over his shoulders, having changed back into his officer's uniform, folded Ben's borrowed clothing and returned it to a spot near him.

_"Stop this, you barely know him,"_ both of their minds hissed in unison, changed from their previous train of thought once they realized that most likely nothing would happen between them, and that it was foolish to think about such things in the first place.

It was not the way of the Jedi, and most certainly not the way of a proper Empire officer. Although, they had stopped calling it "The Empire" quite a while ago. There hadn't been a name yet to replace it, so they used the old one instead.

Hux briskly walked away, jumping off the ledge and landing on his feet. He felt numb, the dull kind.

The empty kind.

Meanwhile, Ben walked around the cave, collecting what he had brought with him, trying to get himself out of this miserable rut, even though he just ended up digging himself in it even deeper and deeper, until he was truly lost in this ridiculous misery that he shouldn't even had in the first place.

~

While dashing over to his speeder, his thoughts were flooded with Ben. His smile, his gorgeous mane of black curly hair, the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, his deep yet soft voice, how tall he was, how big his hands were.

How wide his honey colored eyes got when he was surprised, and how his mouth gaped and he sputtered when he was at a true loss for words. Like he was when he looked at me earlier.

How warm he was when they had been nestled in the blanket. How he had put his clothes out to dry without even being asked. The way he seemingly emanated warmth. And damn it all, the mystery of how he just knew. It didn't matter what, he just knew.

How soft his plump lips had felt when Hux had briefly kissed him earlier yesterday. His skin, dotted with beauty marks. Hux wanted to know how many he had in all, where they were. His fast, sarcastic sense of humor and his quips, even when he stole Hux's cigarettes.

When he had comforted Hux when he had broken down, and the fact that Hux had broken down in front of him at all, which was something that never happened. The way he raised his eyebrows. His smug smirk.

_Stop. Stop this. Stop thinking about him._

If only he knew Ben was doing the exact same thing.

~

Night had fallen, and Hux had probably made his way back to the Academy, meanwhile Ben made his way back to Luke's cabin, stopping along the way to stare up at the stars, revering in the light. For some strange reason, he had the feeling Hux was staring at the stars too.

He was.

A breeze blew across the field Ben lay in, rustling the grass, and he felt warmth for the second time that day. He closed his eyes, determined to make the feeling last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok! 
> 
> a) I'm so sorry for disappearing, but I've been procrastinating, and I've been kind of blanking so I'm taking advantage of the writer's block lifting even if it is temporary.
> 
> b) TSYGOM (The Spell You Got On Me) will be updated and finished sometime this month, most likely near Christmas, which is near when my 3 week break from school starts, I'm so sorry for the wait.
> 
> c) This fic is most likely going to be 5 chapters, and I'm going to make two endings. Yes, you heard me, two endings. Bc I'm stuck between two so I'll do the first one and then another, which will not be happy at all bc i'm on an angst trip for some reason and I like to make myself suffer.
> 
> Also these boys need to stop denying their true feelings, I'm making myself sad with this jfc
> 
> d) the whole "starlight" part of this fic is based off of Muse's song Starlight, which I've always heard on the radio, but recently found the name of. It's an amazing song and you should listen to it if you want to.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3J1YBu0gpJY
> 
> it reminds me of them, especially in this fic so much?? i've been listening to it nonstop all day. Give me all the mutual pining with this song pls and thank
> 
> e) I hope you all had\have a wonderful day\night\afternoon and I hope you guys enjoyed this! Hopefully it might tide some of you over until the next update of TSYGOM, assuming you guys read that too<3 I am so immensely grateful for all of you who leave me kudos and comments, they seriously do brighten up my day.
> 
> f) I'm so excited for next year, I cannot wait until Episode 8 idk why this was necessary to add but....yeah. Anyways, again, hope you guys enjoyed!~<333

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if this is awful because I'm sick and I feel awful. Benarmie is a new fascination of mine, and I just kind of felt the want to write it, so here you go. I have a general idea of where this is going, but things might be wonky until I get better. For reference they're both in their early twenties. And I believe Hux's father was an Imperial Officer, thus why Hux had an Imperial Officer's coat. 
> 
> Organa-Solos, one minute they're flirting with you and the next they're freezing you in place with the force. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


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